Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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