i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
