Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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