Need sex. Gaining weight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
