Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
