just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Boobs are out for the taking
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
