I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
