i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
