I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
