Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
