The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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