Texts From Last Night

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  (079): View more from

  I think we need to take a brake

  (078): View more from

  What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'

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  (079): I think we need to take a brake (078): What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake' http://tfl.nu/ju32
  Replies (18) Good night (847) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

  (310): View more from California

  So you didn't like Bolt?

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  (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later. (310): So you didn't like Bolt? http://tfl.nu/dqy6
  Replies (2) Good night (2997) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.

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  (732): my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink. http://tfl.nu/ojx1
  Replies (39) Good night (1067) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits

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  (443): She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits http://tfl.nu/tlq9
  Replies (54) Good night (4299) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS

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  (309): I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS http://tfl.nu/kfbo
  Replies (6) Good night (3681) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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  (610): Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am http://tfl.nu/p6fg
  Replies (13) Good night (4602) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  How was the bike ride?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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  (734): How was the bike ride? (1-734): Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups. http://tfl.nu/2qrl
  Replies (21) Good night (8565) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores

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  (609): it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores http://tfl.nu/lmvr
  Replies (10) Good night (3291) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines

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  (319): i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines http://tfl.nu/w20p
  Replies (5) Good night (2990) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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  (607): She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her. http://tfl.nu/f1tk
  Replies (7) Good night (4345) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1183) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.

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  (404): So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord. http://tfl.nu/381z
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?

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  (619): Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out? http://tfl.nu/ne0t
  Replies (8) Good night (829) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.

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  (773): things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear. http://tfl.nu/iuyq
  Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

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  (906): I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring. http://tfl.nu/2xnf
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (369)

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