Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (2364)
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  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (948) Bad night (3293)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?

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  (910): dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her? http://tfl.nu/5pe0
  Replies (39) Good night (7354) Bad night (1669)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.

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  (519): just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night. http://tfl.nu/1l56
  Replies (16) Good night (1919) Bad night (4183)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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  (919): I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before. http://tfl.nu/gqc0
  Replies (14) Good night (6140) Bad night (1057)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

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  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4353) Bad night (1005)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon

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  (507): All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon http://tfl.nu/xv5b
  Replies (12) Good night (2043) Bad night (2630)
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  (818): View more from California

  well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

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  (818): well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning http://tfl.nu/ywc2
  Replies (18) Good night (4676) Bad night (2369)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.

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  (732): I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn. http://tfl.nu/68i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2598) Bad night (777)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.

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  (780): After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard. http://tfl.nu/ug22
  Replies (7) Good night (1663) Bad night (589)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.

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  (815): You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger. http://tfl.nu/j7zd
  Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (463)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning

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  (336): Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning http://tfl.nu/wjev
  Replies (4) Good night (407) Bad night (818)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"

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  (606): And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?" http://tfl.nu/s0we
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (377)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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  (908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (388)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......

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  (860): btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd....... http://tfl.nu/m4om
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (692)

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