I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids