I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!