well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
