Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
