If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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