Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.