That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
