If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
