It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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