I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
