all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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