Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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