With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
