Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
