No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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