Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
