i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
