Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
