I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
