i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
