kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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