so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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