trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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