she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
