i permit you to call me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
