If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
