Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
