the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
