Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
