She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Houston, we have a squirter
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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