I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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