i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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