I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
