Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
