You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize