You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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