I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
