you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
