I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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