And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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