Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
