My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize