i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
