Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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