Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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