thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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