Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
