oh god the rape fog is back!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize