Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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