He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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