Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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