a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
