I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
