i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
