Its about making memories worth repressing
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
