Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am naked and annoyed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
