I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
