Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
its liver damage thursday
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
