I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
