I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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