I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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