If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
