brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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