If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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