I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
