just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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