Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
