giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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