If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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